Don't you fucking look at her!

There was a study a while ago that found that true "swing voters" or "independent independents" are the least likely to have even the most basic knowledge of politics - like they're seriously unclear on whether Al Gore or George Bush is the one who likes the environment. It's a bit weird for those of us who decided a long time ago to watch these conventions and try to put ourselves in the mindset of that smidgen of the electorate who really haven't nailed it down to a particular candidate yet. I believe the author of the study I'm thinking of (I can't seem to find it right now) mentioned that one plausible reason why extreme partisans such as myself tend to have a bit more political knowledge is that we are akin to the sports fanatic who knows the teams in his league inside and out - if you are rooting hard enough for one candidate, suddenly ag policy seems kind of interesting and worth reading about.

I think that this idea makes sense, this idea of the political junkie as a fanboy (or girl) for whom it is not enough that we should win, we must be entertained by that win. We don't want our team to run up the score against some bullshit expansion team, we want to beat the Yankees. I hope this idea makes sense, because it's the only explanation as to why I'm so happy about Sarah Palin. Of course, I will be deeply terrified if she becomes vice president, and I really hope that doesn't happen. But this bitch is pure gold. She fucking hates polar bears, and also science. Her husband is a goddamn Eskimo (not an Inuit, apparently). Her first major address on the national stage, and she just stepped up and bitch slapped Barack Obama like her babies weren't out there makin' babies. She fucking supports aerial wolf hunting! Anyone who read Julie of the Wolves as a kid knows that you have to be straight up evil to support aerial wolf hunting. She was surrounded by a crowd of Republicans yelling "Drill, baby, drill!!" like they were bad guys from Captain Planet. She is so much more badass than Mittens Romney will ever be. He was just a slimey dude with no principles who thought everyone would be cool with it if he changed his opinion on abortion suddenly in his fifties. Palin is like the bad guy from Blue Velvet. Frank Booth was scary as hell not because he was willing to cut people's ears off, but because he hated Heinekin and he loved PBR and he wanted you to call him Daddy and not fucking look at him. Sarah Palin feels the exact same way, except about library books.

Also see: Sarah Palin videos, I recommend number 1 and number 4.